Pelvic Floor Health for Engaged Women and Newlyweds, with Veronica Stephens

What do newlywed and engaged women need to know about their pelvic floor as they enter into marital intimacy? Sarah is joined by Catholic pelvic floor specialist Veronica Stephens of RenewedResilience.net. They cover the basics of what a healthy, functioning pelvic floor should be able to do, as well as a few of the problems that can arise when the pelvic floor doesn't function properly--problems such as incontinence, pain during intercourse, and constipation. Veronica shares her unique path to her profession, from her beginnings as a theology major at Christendom College to finding her way to physical training and pelvic floor certifications to help women. Sarah and Veronica discuss the mind-body connection by which a woman's beliefs and memories about sex affects her vaginal muscles.

Veronica Stephens is at RenewedResilience.net

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Transcript

Sarah: 0:50

I am with Veronica Stevens, who is a pelvic floor specialist and the coach behind renewed resilience.net. She's a Catholic pelvic floor specialist who can help women really understand how to take care of their pelvic floor health so that they can thrive in their overall wholeness as well as in intimacy. Thank you so much for joining me, Veronica. Thank you so much for having me, Sarah. So what are some common problems that you often see women come to a pelvic floor specialist for help with?

Veronica: 1:23

I would say there's a great multiple reasons that I see women come to me. But specifically lately, one of the biggest symptoms I've been seeing are Catholic and Christian married women, or women that are newly engaged and they're having either issues with inserting tampons or just. Generally overall pelvic floor issues that they did not realize were an issue until someone either shared it with them or they did some more research for their own health.

Sarah: 2:00

Wonderful. So when we're thinking specifically about engaged and newlywed women, what do you think would be just important for every woman to know about her pelvic floor as she prepares to enter into married life where? You know, intimacy, marital intimacy will be part of this.

Veronica: 2:20

Yeah. So one of the biggest learning curves that I learned as a newly married woman myself, is that the importance of the ability to relax and contract your pelvic floor. Mm-hmm. And that there's such a mind body composite to that. And it's not something that we're always aware of. So we can go through life not even being aware of how our pelvic floor functions. Um, so one of the biggest things that I constantly am telling my, especially single. Clients is that it is never too early to start taking care of your pelvic floor for the reasons of you do not have to give birth, you do not have to be pregnant in order for you to have pelvic floor issues. And I think that that is one thing that the world does not share enough of is that, mm-hmm. A lot of times people associate pelvic floor issues with a mom that has given birth or had a pregnancy.

Sarah: 3:21

Yeah, I know I definitely saw a pelvic floor therapist after having given birth a number of times and having troubles with continence and what a blessing it was to discover, okay, first of all, this is normal. I'm not a weirdo for having this situation. And then secondly, there is specific training and help for this. And then the more I, you know, got a little bit more open and vulnerable about that. About that. I found out that, yeah, there's a lot of other moms also who are in the same boat and who also have benefited from pelvic floor therapy, but it's so much more than just that. Right. I.

Veronica: 4:00

Exactly, yes. There's, besides just having the incontinence, a lot of women will struggle with, one of the biggest things that women struggle with is actually constipation. Mm-hmm. So constipation is a big symptom or of pelvic floor issues. And the reason being is you could have a really tight pelvic floor that's not allowing your. Bowels to come out. And so that's where some, a client is telling me, yes, I struggle with constipation. That is like one of the first issues that we address with, because if you're constantly bearing down and putting pressure on your pelvic floor through all that pressure of not being able to go to the bathroom and a healthy manner, then that's just gonna cause a lot of stress and pressure on your pelvic floor.

Sarah: 4:47

Wow. So good to know. What about pain during intercourse? As I work with women in my delight and we talk about pain during intercourse, I'm always eager to point out there is a lot of help for this with pelvic floor therapy and pelvic floor specialists. And I know not all types of pain during intercourse are equal. But yeah. What would you want women to know about this topic?

Veronica: 5:13

Yes, great question. One of the biggest. Things that I love to share with my clients is that when you're having pain, that's a signal to your body that something is wrong. And there, as you know, a lot of it does have to come from mindset, but your muscles, your pelvic floor muscles are made of multiple layers of muscle. And so just like we go to the massage therapist to release some of those tight muscles. Maybe in our shoulders or wherever we're holding tension, our pelvic floor. A lot of the times for us women who, especially if you're undergoing a lot of stress, you can tend to hold a lot of pressure in your pelvic floor. So a lot of times you can have a really tight pelvic floor which then those muscles have the purpose of like a. Proper functioning pelvic floor is to relax and contract. It's also, those deep muscles are also there to hold in all those organs. And the more l the more superficial muscles are there to hold in your urine and your. Poop. And like when your, your gas as well. But if you are constantly holding, maybe clenching your glutes those are so closely connected to the pelvic floor muscles that you're holding those muscles so tight that they're never able to release. So a proper functioning muscles is one that can relax and contract. But if you're in that constant state of either stress or maybe you. Or lifting heavy things, but you're not lifting it. With the proper pressure management, the core strength then you're putting a lot of pressure on that pelvic floor and it's not able to relax and then it can't contract properly and move, especially in intercourse. You want your pelvic floor to be able to relax and contract, but if those muscles are always in a state of either they're weak. So sometimes a tight pelvic floor is a weak type pelvic floor'cause it can't. Relax and contract. But like with insertion during intercourse, you wanna be able to open those muscles. So relax the muscles so the holes can open. Your, your vagina can open for intercourse. But sometimes your muscles are so tight that honestly it has closed those the vagina. To, um, and

Sarah: 7:36

it's so good. Uh, well just to l loop back a little bit, you talked about lifting heavy things. This could include like toddlers, for example, right? Or laundry baskets. Correct. Not necessarily in a warehouse lifting boxes, but just mom life could include lifting heavy things. A lot, but I'm really glad also that you talked earlier about the mind body connection and how this is so important because it affects our muscles. And I always, I want every woman to know not to force yourself to have painful sex if sex is painful, I. That is a sign that something is wrong and you need to stop. Please don't push through. And the more we do that, the more our body, our mind believes, oh, sex is something painful, something to avoid. And so of course we're gonna tense up all the more, you know, believing I. That this is painful when that connection is wired in. And so that's why stopping is really important. So then you can do whatever work you need to do to learn how to relax, and a lot of times it can be our beliefs about sex or what sex is for that. Are making us tense up if we believe it's just for the man and his pleasure, which is not biblical, that's not Catholic teaching. That God created sex to be beautiful and good, and nourishing and pleasurable for husband and wife both, and her pleasure matters equally. But yes the tensing can be affected by our thoughts, but it also can be helped by not just affecting our thoughts, but by getting good therapy. Right. By working with a pelvic floor specialist.

Veronica: 9:10

I would agree with that. It's so important to have both aspects. Mm-hmm. Uh, with the mindset. Yes. Our bodies. Have, and I see this over and over again even with myself, like if you have had pain in some area, your body, your muscles are gonna protect itself and they are going to, in a sense, stop working and they're just gonna be in that defense type mode. Mm-hmm. And so with, but it's also so important to strengthen the bigger muscles around the pelvic floor. So like your core, your lower core when you're squatting or like picking something up. If you're picking it up with. Form where you're putting, you're using all your pelvic floor muscles and not your glutes and your core, then you're gonna just have a really tight pelvic floor. So just even like posture fixing your posture, I've seen a lot of women see a lot of results through healing their posture, strengthening the proper muscles.'cause our body is also really fascinating. If we have one area that's weaker and not. Working as it's supposed to. The wrong muscles will take over and then it will cause more issues. But like our body always tries to find a way to make. Wow.

Sarah: 10:20

Veronica. I love your story that you really were, you were studying, um, you know, the beauty of our Catholic faith at Chris and dumb college and then came to pelvic floor specialist work a little bit later. Can you just give a little brief background about how that journey was for you?

Veronica: 10:36

Yeah, so I went to CEN College and I, my intention was to go into nursing school after mm-hmm. I went and I took anatomy and physiology. They started it my senior year and I fell in love with it. And I played on their soccer team and I majored in theology. Yes, they did not at that time offer any degrees other than liberal arts. Mm-hmm. So, um, what I decided, I, after a lot of discerning, I realized that I did not want to go into nursing. But then I was pursuing the idea of physical therapy school. At this point though, COVID happened and I took a couple master classes in exercise science, which I loved, but I was introduced to class or an internship in California remotely. During Covid and I thought, what better thing to do with my time than have an internship with physiology and personal training. So I went through that and I fell in love with how God created our human body and Wow. Even. My senior year, I wrote my thesis on how important, so I majored in theology, but I wrote my thesis on how sports are so important in, uh, kind of navigating and growing our own spiritual life. And it was definitely very unique to the school. A lot of people questioned me, what I was doing, but I had a great professor that walked me through it. And that was just a big passion of mine because I did see how playing soccer, how being healthy, how being active and taking care of myself really helped me with my just my relationship with God. Actually, I was able to. Your mind and just understand, just have a close relationship with him. And so I decided after that internship in 2020 to pursue more certifications in personal training. And that's where I started having issues myself, a single woman with pelvic floor issues and hips issues, just very bad pain. Oh, wow. I did not find any help. I did not know a lot about pelvic floor help. And I had a mentor reach out to me and say, how would you like to work with women and their pelvic floor? And I had no, no idea what she was telling me about. So she worked with me one-on-one and shared, and that was everything pelvic floor related. So that changed my world, my mindset, my health. And I was like, I can't keep this to myself. I need to start helping other women. I worked at a corporate gym at that time. And I started helping women there and as women kept asking me, can you please help me? I started seeing that women started seeing results and that I was making a difference in the world. And I decided to start my own business a year ago. And since then I've had. Many more certifications from pelvic floor physical therapists in prenatal, postnatal, general pelvic floor health. And it, it's just beautiful how God has worked in my life and changed my heart, um, and help me grow and help those pain points, so to speak. Help other women who I've worked with.

Sarah: 14:08

That is so wonderful. What a treasure. To just know that we have a fully, authentically Catholic pelvic floor specialist who can work remotely with women because I think a lot of women who might be great candidates for pelvic floor therapy are a little nervous about, well, okay, what exactly are we gonna do? And does this align with my Catholic faith? Um, but I just wanna. Let everyone know that you can find Veronica on her website@renewedresilience.net. And Veronica, I'll definitely wanna have some more conversations on the podcast in the future to dive into this really important topic. Thank you so much for speaking with me.

Veronica: 14:49

Yes. Thank you so much for having you, me, on your podcast. It was an honor. God bless.