What Should You Wear to Bed? 💕

What should you wear as you climb into bed with your husband for a lovemaking night?

Sarah invites you to consider:

Wearing something that makes you feel good. 

1. It might feel good in terms of comfort. It might feel cozy and comforting on your skin and keep you warm. 

2. It might make you feel good because it looks good on you. It's your color. The cut and fit suit you and flatter you. That's another wonderful reason to wear something to bed! 

3. It might make you feel good because it feels sensual, with slinky, soft fabric.

4. Maybe it feels good because you feel feminine, sexy, or confident in it. That can help you get in the right attitude for lovemaking. 

Lingerie is okay. You don't have to wear it, but you can. There's nothing immoral about it, and in fact, it is quite likely that some of the lace made by St. Zélie Martin's workshop was for lingerie.

If you want to wear lingerie, consider a model-free store such as  Mentionables. (Get 10% off with the affiliate link: https://www.shopmentionables.com/BARTEL)

Or, consider the unique, hand-made, fair-trade pieces made by Ginger and Peach. https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com

Another tip is to go to an upscale department store, try on some chemises and nightgowns to see what you like, and then see if you can find them for a fraction of the price on eBay.

Imaginary lingerie is another great way to go! It fits perfectly, looks great on you, doesn't itch, scratch, or ride up, and it's FREE! 

5. Don't do this if it's bringing you down!  Is ratty, stretched-out sleepwear dragging your energy down and making you feel frumpy and un-sexy? You deserve to feel good. If it's dragging you down, ditch it, and make an intentional choice to wear something that makes you feel good as you climb into bed to meet your husband.

MORE RESOURCES

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

Model-free lingerie! Get 10% off with my affiliate link for Mentionables.

Transcript

0:50

Yes. What should he wear to bed for love making? In this episode, I'm going to share some ideas about how to choose what to wear when you're gonna show up for love making with your husband and. It might be some ideas beyond what you normally would think of when you're thinking about sex and what to wear or not to wear. Okay? The first point I'm going to make here is that you should wear something that makes you feel good. This might be on the level of like comfort. It feels good because it feels comfortable on your body. You feel cozy in it, or it's not itchy, or you know, that kind of cloth feels nice against your skin. Um. Right. So that's a great reason to choose something to show up with because if you're feeling comfortable, that's gonna be so good for your nervous system and your mind. Um, that could be really helpful in helping you show up for love making and enjoy it more. When you know, you, you feel like cozy and warm, or, you know, soothed or comforted in the clothing that you're wearing, your, your pajamas or whatever it is you wanna show up in. Maybe it makes you feel good about your body because it's feminine, or the cut of it, uh, drapes nicely and, and looks good on you. So that's another layer. So we're gonna start with like, what feels good to you, the wearer. I really want you to think about that first. And then secondly, what feels good because it looks good on you. That cut of nightgown or. Um, pattern or color of pajama set. You know, the pajamas are like a t-shirt and pants. Um, yeah, it looks, looks nice on you. And then you can also think about, like, it makes you feel good because it makes you feel feminine. What makes, what feels like Lacey or Silky. And so this sort of emphasizes for you that you're a woman and um, you feel kind of like. Um, slinky and or, or flowery or, um, you know, frothy or whatever it might be, something that makes you feel feminine or maybe it makes you feel good because it makes you feel sexy. By putting this on, it gets you in a sexy frame of mind and you feel like a babe and, um, it's gonna help you feel sexier. And that's also a great thing to bring with you as you climb into bed. This feeling of confidence from sexiness, this boost you might get from, um, whatever it is you may choose to wear, uh, maybe it makes you feel good'cause it has like a funny quote or image on it or something. And uh, and it just kind of makes you laugh and that's great too'cause it can help relax you and that is also a nice, uh, yeah. Might, might make you feel playful. Right. That's another great attitude to bring with you as you climb into bed to meet your husband for love making. Now, if you do choose to wear something that's a. That would be categorized as lingerie. I want you to know. That's fine. There's some Catholic women have asked me, is that morally ed or is it okay to wear lingerie? It is. That's fine. You can, I mean, St. Therese's mother Zalie Marone, she was a lace maker and some of the lace that she made was lace for lingerie, for nightgowns, and you know, underclothing. It's, there's nothing wrong with it. You may in your mind like associate lingerie with pornography or like, I don't know, trashy images that you've seen elsewhere. But that doesn't mean that objectively lingerie is bad. It's just that you have that association in your mind. That's okay. You don't have to wear lingerie if it makes you feel cheap or tawdry, or you think it's objectifying. No, there's no immoral imperative that you have to wear lingerie. Totally optional, but I just want you to know it is an okay option that you could choose. And if you do, I have some tips and ideas for you. First of all, you could choose model free lingerie, and mentionable is a great source for that. I have a link to my own Mentionable affiliate, um, account on the show notes of this in every episode. And that's fun because. Yeah, you're supporting a business that's intentionally, you know, not using women's bodies to sell their product. Um, so that's great and you can, you know, look through those yourself and not have compare and despair as you're looking at other women's bodies, the models bodies, because the truth is you are beautiful. God made you and he made you good and you're beautiful. You really are. So it's nice to not have the noise of that, you know, body image issue, um, coming at you as you're, you're looking online for lingerie. Um, so mentionable is great. And then another benefit to that, having a, a model free lingerie online store is that you can look with your husband and together you could pick out some pieces and. Then it, you know, you don't have, you're not inviting him to look at other women's bodies, uh, who might be modeling lingerie on other sites. So that's available to you if you choose. Another really lovely source of lingerie, if you want something like really sort of heirloom quality or really creative and unique, is this lovely Christian woman who created an online handmade. Lingerie online. It's at ginger peach lingerie.com. Go check out her store, ginger and Peached lingerie. They're really beautiful. Lovely. Um. Like really well made looking pieces. I haven't actually purchased any of this. I've just seen her site and it looks great and I've emailed her a bit because I was going to invite her to be a guest sometime on my show, but she's having a busy year right now, so we'll have to wait on that. Um, but she's a Christian and I love also that, um, a lot of the pieces are made by hand by work at home moms. And also a lot of the work is also done in a fair trade way with, um, you know, using fair trade labor that is dignified and really honors the dignity of those workers who assist them. So that's really cool. Ginger and peach. Ginger and peach lingerie.com. Go check that out. Now, another option for you is you could take yourself on a little shopping trip and go to someplace like Nordstrom or Macy's and try out different lingerie. In the lingerie department there and see what feels nice for you, what kind of cut looks good on you. Um, maybe baby doll dresses, you know, um, slips, uh, what are they, chamise. Maybe those look great on your body shape. Maybe they don't look great. And so you're find you're gonna look for other styles. Um, and also it can really help you feel how those feel on your body. Um, you know, of course respect all the hygiene involved. Don't remove the little paper liner on the the undies. Um, but especially for things like nightgowns and chamise and um, pieces like that, it can really just be good to go experiment, try some on. This is not a commitment to buy. Um, but yeah, good old fashioned in-person shopping could be really insightful for you. And I will share that. Years ago I did this once. And I found that there was one type of slip of chamise. I think that was really lovely. It, the fabric felt buttery soft on my skin and it came in a pretty color that I like. That's one of my colors that looks good on me. And it just looked really like high quality and it was way beyond my price range. There was no way I could justify dropping that much money. On something that, to be honest, was not gonna stay on my body for very long. But, um, but I took that information and when I got home I hit up eBay and I searched and searched and after a while, a couple different tries, I found that exact same, um, chamise on eBay for. Like a fraction. I think it was like one third or one fourth, the cost of what it would've been at the department store. So you could copy that tip if you like. And then another even cheap, even more affordable, I'll say way to get great lingerie that's super comfortable and looks really good on you, is to wear imaginary lingerie. This is such a fun, creative, playful thing to do with your husband is to be a lingerie designer. In your mind, so imagine what your lingerie would look like and describe it to your husband, what color it would be, if it would be, you know, what the construction would be, what the silhouette would be. You could draw it with your fingers or invite him to, you know, design imaginary lingerie for you and draw it with his fingers on your body and describe it and describe what it feels like. Totally fun way to play with your imagination. Um, your, your sexy and erotic imagination with each other in bed. Yeah. And like I said, so affordable, super comfortable. It doesn't itch, it doesn't ride up. You don't have to keep tugging it out. Um, the seams aren't gonna chafe you because they're all imaginary, so that's, yeah. It's a great way to get really nice, lovely lingerie is to imagine it. Um, maybe this is the, maybe this is the girl in me who, who was, you know, a reader of Anna Green Gables when I was a child. This is how it's coming out as an adult woman imagining things to be just as lovely as you want them to be. And I will conclude by saying first of, you know, thirdly, um. Whatever you wear, just put some intention to it. Choose it intentionally, whether it's something comfy, clean, nice. If you've got something that's ratty and has holes in it or stains and that really brings you down and you didn't even realize that, that that actually has that effect of making you feel kind of depressed or yucky about your body or just frumpy, and that's been. Diminishing the energy that you bring to the marriage bed. Toss that out. You don't need that. You know what you're worth wearing something that you feel good in to bed. I just wanna affirm that for you. You are worth it. You don't have to wear something that's stained and you know, stretched out and tattered, um, to bed because you are beautiful. You are God's beloved daughter. You're a princess in his kingdom and you deserve your worth wearing something that you feel good in to bed. So I'll leave you with that. God bless you. See you in the next episode.