15 Real Couples Shared What Their Marriage Needs--Emotional Connection

Recently, Sarah invited her marriage ministry followers to reply to a simple question:

"What Does Your Marriage Need Right Now"?

She offered to take their marriage prayer intentions before Jesus in Adoration.

Over 59 women and men answered.

There was a common thread running through most of them. 

In today's episode, Sarah shares fifteen responses from Catholic wives and husbands. This privileged glimpse into the heart of real Catholic marriages illustrates what Our Lady says at the Wedding at Cana in John 2:3:

"They have no more wine." 

Reading through these 15 replies, Sarah reflects on what they teach us about the need for intimacy, communication, joy, friendship, and that so-necessary superglue for marriage:

emotional intimacy.

Do you any of these stories resonate with what you are feeling right now?

In this episode:

✅ 15 honest responses from Catholic wives and husbands

✅ Recurring themes

✅ An example of emotional abuse, and a Catholic response

✅ Why many marriages don't need more work. Enough with the heaviness! What they need is more FUN!

✅ Resource ideas if you want to improve emotional intimacy in your own marriage

Mentioned in this episode:

🌴 canafeast.com/abundantlive 

The 4 week experience your marriage needs this summer! 

📖 Don't Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic's Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse 

A book for Catholic wives suffering emotional abuse

❤️‍🩹  hopesgarden.com

Online community for hurting wives and husbands

✨ youaremadenew.com

Catholic coaching with De Yarrison for wives who have suffered emotional abuse

🌸 free online Catholic marriage workshop: the Little Way of Marriage 

Learn how to do little marriage-building skills with great love, inspired by St. Thérèse, the Little Flower, and her holy parents, Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin!

Transcript

0:51

In the scriptures in John chapter 2, our lady is with her son Jesus at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and Jesus' disciples are there. There's a bride and the groom, and there are all the guests. And then our lady says something. She notices something, and then she says something to Jesus. She says, "They have no wine." And I wanna share with you that those words echo in my heart. Those words are a call and a summons to me. It's that call that drew me into marriage ministry. I hear our lady saying that as she looks down at all these marriages in the church and in the world today, "They have no more wine. They have no wine." It's so concerning and distressing, and we ask Jesus to please intercede, please come and help with your grace, Lord. All these marriages that are struggling, that are hurting in different ways, that are... they're just running dry. My husband Nathan and I, we really feel like we are called to help in this vineyard of marriage. We are meant to be there at this sort of archetypal wedding as stewards, as servers. We're the waitstaff, if you will, at the wedding at Cana, serving out the wine. We didn't make this wine. It is from Jesus. It is his grace. It is his love that transforms us. But we, Nathan and I, we really want to help bring it to those who need it, to you maybe. So today, I sent a really simple email and I asked, "What does your marriage need right now? Hit reply and let me know." Because today, as I record, this is my weekly adoration day, and I go before our Lord in the Eucharist in our home parish, and I will pray for these intentions that people brought to us. I did not anticipate, but I am thankful for this huge outpouring of response. Because what this is is a very privileged glimpse into the heart of Catholic marriages, into what, like, where is the hurt? Where are they hurting, or where do they see a lack or want something more? And I'm just gonna share some of these responses because this is a question I want you to think about if you are married. What does your marriage need right now? Just think about that What's your desire? And then I put the question another way I said, "If you could wave a magic wand and then the marriage that you're in became the marriage of your dreams, what would that look like for you?" So think about that. paint that picture. What does that look like? What do you have now in this dream marriage that is not present in your real life marriage? What would change? What would be different? Then you can bring it to the Lord, and then you can be a- on a journey. You can begin a journey because prayer is the start of it. You bring it to Jesus. You ask him. Ask Our Lady, Our Lady of Cana, to intercede for you. But then God gives us so much agency. We are co-creators with him in the choices that we make in our lives, and we're not helpless. You can go learn skills. You can go get tools. You can go get help. You can learn things. You can make changes to help you get to the marriage of your dreams once you realize what it is you need I think what most marriages really need is greater emotional connection., So I just counted up. As of the time I began recording, I had 59 replies to my question, and I'm so thankful for each and every one. Thank you. If that was you that replied, thank you so much. I really am taking all your intentions with me to adoration. I'm gonna pray my heart out for each of you. Several of the responses were asking for conversions of spouses, and several of them were, serious medical situations, and that is really hard. But that wasn't the majority. The majority of the replies really were about emotional intimacy, and I'm just going to share this privileged glimpse that I have with you. I'm gonna read some of these replies while keeping them anonymous, so you can see what I mean, and then see if this brings up anything for you. Then that, that's a gift. The pain, the clarity, that's actually a gift because then that helps you identify what steps you can take next. So one woman, one of my most recent replies, she said, "Hi, Sarah. Thanks for the thought-provoking question. I think my marriage needs more genuine love. I've tried to suggest things, prevent hurt and distance, but between us, but pretty much in vain, and now I feel numb. I haven't felt love in a long time. I'm not in pain, and I don't feel excitement. I think we need more trust and reliability, more even share of responsibilities in managing a home, better communication and conflict resolution. I think basically everything, unfortunately. I know there's always hope, but I don't know practically how things can change as he works a lot away from home, and we don't spend much time together because he's trying to study to get a better job. God can make things happen. Thank you for your prayers. I will pray for you too. Thanks for listening. Kind regards." Ah, love her, and I will pray for her. But yeah, that love that is felt, the choices to turn towards each other, that's-- it's emotional intimacy right there. That is what she shared. Then the next reply I'm gonna read is from more like an hour ago as of this time now, This wife wrote me, "More honest communication for us both. We're so used to hiding what we think. We had similar childhoods and have similarly overprotective and bitter parents." Ooh. "Neither of us can read minds, and I especially forget that somehow. God bless you, Sarah." Aw, bless you too. All of you, you're so sweet. I really love you all. I'm so blessed and grateful to be, a waitstaff, to be a server at the wedding at Canaan, to get to Interact with all of you. So yeah, there again, this is emotional intimacy here. She's wanting more honest communication. They want, she wants her and her husband both not to have to hide what they think. It's understandable with, bitter parents who are overprotective that she and her husband would both have this posture of hiding, but now it's maladaptive, right? They're married to each other. They're nice. They're good to each other. They don't need to hide from and protect themselves from each other because they're not married to their parents. But those early, attachment issues and childhood wounds can really do a number Okay, now this was a husband who emailed me about two hours ago. He said, "Hey, Sarah, we appreciate the prayers. Thank you. Interesting question. I really couldn't think of anything other than I sometimes I don't connect fully with my wife. Prayer intention would be, would be for the grace of a holy and happy marriage. Thanks." And there again, that not fully connecting with his wife sometimes, that is where the gaps are in emotional connection. I love his prayer intention. I will totally pray for the grace of a holy and happy marriage for you. I think I'll just refer to these people who email me, with a first letter. So A, I am absolutely gonna pray for you. Awesome intention. Okay. Now a wife with the initial H emailed me, and I love this one too, because it's so real. Maybe you will see yourself in this one. H, the wife, emailed me. "Hi, Sarah. Could you please pray we have the courage to make time for talking through big decisions this summer, rather than pushing them off? We need to talk about job changes, new septic system, and catching up on donations, just to name a few. I pray we can feel connected in making decisions, especially big ones that can be stressful. Thanks, Sarah. Peace, H." Mm. I will totally pray for that. Yeah, so there again, we need the emotional connection so that it feels safe to have these big conversations without them turning into an argument. That's the power and the beauty of emotional connection, is where you know you can have that conversation, and even if you both have different opinions or preferences, you can still have the conversation and come to a decision, and know that you're connected and together and on the same team, and that you love each other. And then you both feel great that you got it done. You're moving the family forward. You're taking care of these things. Yay for emotional connection helping you be able to do that. Okay. A wife named B, uh, initial B, emails me she said, "I wish for my marriage that I feel free to become the person God wants me to be. No more control, diminished, and belittle. Thank you, B." Okay. When I read this, this is a red flag to me that she is in a marriage where she is being emotionally abused. She is suffering, the belittling, diminishment, and control, that is textbook classic emotional abuse there. And so I'm gonna reply to her and share with her resources, for awareness about emotional abuse, the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control, for example. The church's teaching about abuse, which is that it's a violation of your wedding vows. Her husband is violating his wedding vows by abusing her. And that the church does not ask spouses to stay in abusive marriages if their wellbeing, their dignity is being undermined, which emotional abuse does that. The church is not asking you to stay. And what I think I would like to do is, recommend to this wife this book that, Jenny Dubay wrote. I interviewed Jenny Dubay on this podcast, and it's don't Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic's Guide to Recognizing and Healing From Domestic Abuse. Jenny Dubé is a faithful Catholic woman, an amazing coach, gaslighting specialist. Again, check out my interview with her earlier. I am gonna recommend to this woman that she reach out to Jenny and/or,, check out Hope's Garden, which is a wonderful resource for Catholic wives dealing with various kinds of hurt in their marriage. And then the founder of Hope's Garden is marvelous and can do coaching as well, and they actually have a whole team of coaches there. It's Dee Yarison who is one of the co-founders of Hope's Garden, along with her, I think, sister or sister-in-law, Laura Ercolino. Hope's Garden is pretty affordable. It's just $18 a month, and if finances are an issue, just reach out to them, and they'll work something out with you. So, at a minimum, reach out to Hope's Garden if you are suffering emotional abuse, and then just start getting support there, growing in your awareness. I really encourage you to get coaching. Dee's coaching is you can find her directly at youaremadenew.com, youaremadenew.com. And guess what? You are worth it. You are so worth it. You need this. You need to hear the voice of God the Father telling you how much He loves and approves you, especially if you have been belittled in your marriage, criticized, and cut down, and controlled. You really need to counteract that with the voice of truth and love that God speaks to you with. Okay. So, ugh, those ones are hard but i'm gonna pray super hard for B, and I just can hope that this could be the turning point for her where she will start to reach out for resources and learn more and not just stay stuck in this dynamic. Ugh, hard. Okay. Next is, a happier intention from J. J is a wife who emailed me. Her reply is... This is probably the shortest one of all the emails I got back, but I love this. "More joy!" Exclamation point. Absolutely, more joy. And emotional connection can pave the way for more joy as well. Absolutely. We can get stuck in these dynamics of, just operating like roommates, like co-managers of our project, of our household and our marriage, and that's not very joyful. It might be functional, but God wants joy for us. That's why there's wine at the wedding at Cana. It's this wedding celebration. It's a feast. And I will share with you, this is what is a hallmark of Christian and Catholic marriage ministry. Nathan and I, we actually participated in the $850 Art and Science of Love workshop that the Gottmans put on. John and Julie Gottman actually live in our neck of the woods, in our area, the Pacific Northwest. And so we got to go to Seattle to a hotel where, in one of the ballrooms. They themselves they gave most of the talks. And it was really good content. We have a ton of respect for their approach and their wisdom and their research-backed insights, and we incorporate that into our marriage programs. But you know what we noticed when we were there all day? There was not the joy that you experience when you're at a retreat, when you're at adoration, when you're living life in Christ, it's like what Our Lady's telling about in John 2. They have no wine. On top of or underlying or woven all through the best practices, relationship skills and communication skills and conflict resolution skills, there should also be that sparkle of joy because we're heading for heaven, because God loves you infinitely, because He's called you to live life in Him, which is an adventure. So yeah, joy is hugely important to Nathan and I, and we highlight that in the work that we do with couples. Okay, the next reply I'm gonna read was from three hours ago. This is from a wife, initial D. Also a pretty short answer. She just listed some words. What her marriage needs in these, this short answer here, she listed listening, understanding, prayer, unity, and action. Man, it's just sort of like she looked at the curriculum, like she looked at the scope and sequence of our Abundant program and picked out some of the highlights and just like, "That's what we need," 'cause this is what Nathan and I teach in our Abundant program. Um, next up, a wife, initial K, said, "Hi, Sarah. My marriage needs to grow in intimacy so that we can talk about everything and anything. Please pray for our marriage to be like God intended it to be. Thank you for your prayers. Blessings, K." I will totally pray for you, K. And yes, she's just hitting the nail on the head here. It's emotional intimacy that can put you in a space where you can talk about everything and anything, and that is the marriage that God intends for you um, okay, next, a wife emailed me, and her initial is D. She said, "Thank you, Sarah." Uh, and this is from four hours ago. "Thank you, Sarah. My prayer intention for my marriage is to have an increase in connection through open, intentional communication and for us to grow closer through shared prayer time with one another. I can see us growing as a Catholic couple that could be mentors for other couples. But just like individual evangelization, it begins with the personal journey. In appreciation, D." I love this. She knows that they need better communication, more open, more intentional to grow closer. It's emotional connection, you guys, I'm telling you. And I see it too. This is what God does. He works through your own individual growth, and then his plans for you are so much bigger than your own just you two. Like, he works through and blesses you and then makes you a shining witness, a sign to other couples so that you can help them have that joy and closeness that you're experiencing. This is how it happens. It's couple to couple. It's person to person. It's wife to wife, husband to husband where you can, if they're open and willing, you can bring them along the journey that you went on. I know God wants that. So I'm just gonna kinda give you a little sneak peek here. We're taking our Abundant program, which is our flagship, thousand dollar marriage deep dive program, which brings you renewal, gets you on the same page, helps you feel like you're on the same team. It's helped hundreds of couples. And we wanted to do something special this summer, where instead of where you feel like you're working on your marriage, doesn't that sound kind of heavy? Where you have fun for your marriage instead. So we're going to take couples through the crème de la crème, the most important, the most transformative sessions of Abundant,, the lessons that really move the needle the most. And over the course of four weeks, we're gonna- have weekly group calls in which we share that with couples and help them, knock it out in a month. Having tons of fun along the way, with our Hawaiian theme that we're really enjoying this summer. So it feels light. It feels fun. It feels like marriage group. If any of you have you ever seen or maybe you've been part of marriage groups where you take turns having dinner at each other's houses, and maybe y'all read a book together and discuss different chapters each month. You form friendships, and you're growing intentionally together in your marriage. That's what it's gonna be like over the course of these four weeks, these four Mondays in July. And so yeah, we're gonna be helping you grow in emotional connection In a joy-filled way because that's what we want. We want joy. We want it to be fun. We want it to be light. I will tell you, working in this vineyard for almost seven years now, sometimes it can get heavy for us. You know? Seeing these heavy problems that couples are dealing with, and we ourselves are like, "Let's make it really light and fun this summer," because we need that. We need, a joy burst summer to renew us so that we can keep working in this vineyard that God has called us to, so we can keep putting on our aprons and serving at the wedding at Cana without getting burnt out. So we are intentionally ramping up the joy and the fun while also sharing with you these proven practical transformative relationship skills that help you grow in your emotional connection. So this is the call. We have a call, Nathan and I, to serve in this way, so I'm calling you, if you're listening to this, is this your time? Is this your time to stop just being okay with the problems and the lacks that are there in your marriage and start doing something about it? Come on in. Come aboard. We are creating this experience for you, and we would love to have you, join in, and It's gonna strengthen your marriage, but it's also gonna strengthen the church as a whole, and it will make you a more shining witness, and it will make you have the kind of marriage where your kids when they grow up, if someone asks them, "Do you want a marriage like your parents had?" They're more likely to say yes if you intentionally, increase your skills, put in the time and the energy and the intention, and invest in your marriage. Because how many of us can say that, right? Do we want a marriage like our parents had? What would your kids say if someone asked them that? What do you want them to say? So we hope that you can be those cool parents where your kids are like, "Yeah, my parents, they were really connected. They really enjoyed each other. They had fun. They laughed together. They knew how to resolve their differences. They didn't always see eye to eye or agree, but they were absolutely on the same team. They absolutely had each other's back. They were on the same page." That would be such a gift to give your kids, to be able to say that. And Nathan and I are standing here holding the door open to, our own, uh um, antechamber of the wedding at Cana, like, "Come on in. We would be so happy to show you. We'd be happy to teach you what that takes." And we're doing it for a huge discount. So our normal Abundant program, which is self-serve, DIY, you just do it on your own time, that's $997. But Abundant Live, our four-week crème de la crème summer experience, the highlights that is $497 for the standard level. And then if you want the luxe experience, like the premium version where you get, as a wife, two one-on-one calls with me, and then your husband gets two one-on-one calls with Nathan that is $1197. And we're calling that the beachfront villa. 'Cause have you ever seen a resort where the the more expensive rooms face the ocean, and the less expensive rooms face the parking lot? So all of you who join at the standard level, you get the ocean view rooms. You get the nice rooms looking out over the ocean with the good view. But then some of you who want the extra special VIP experience, have you seen at resorts where they'll have, little bungalows or villas with their own plunge pool and, their own little wall, and they've got, like, a lounge and a kitchen and living room along with the bedrooms, and they're closer to the beach? Those are the beachfront villas. So that's the premium level for Abundant Life. And you can find it links to this show, or if you go to canafeast.com/abundantlive. Pretty sure that's how Nathan set it up. He is the tech wizard among us. Yeah, that's it, just kaneface.com abundantlife. Okay, so I'm going to read a few more of these beautiful emails here. This one is from a husband whose initial is G, and he says, "I would like our intimacy to increase." I'm guessing, this is just an assumption based on generalities, maybe he's meaning sexual intimacy there. But either way, emotional intimacy is the foundation for really good lovemaking in your marriage. So if what he is wanting is for sexual intimacy to increase, then pouring into, investing into emotional intimacy is gonna be the foundation for making that possible, and I would love for him and his wife to do that because it's great. It's great. Like, all of us should want our intimacy to increase. to be closer to one another, to feel more connected heart to heart, to feel more like you have the kind of atmosphere in your marriage where, there are fewer obstacles to making love when you that you would both be more disposed to doing that because you have such a warm atmosphere in your marriage. Okay. And then, I had one super cool engaged woman email me saying, "I'm getting married next week," and then I clicked her link, and she has this really cool ministry, a link in her email signature. There was a picture of her on her own ministry's webpage, and, I was really excited and happy for her. So she's about to get married in a few days. And then here's this email from, I'll call her A. She said, "We've been married 42 years, some good, some hard, some great. Lately, I have no desire for intimacy. I feel disconnected, not seen. There are no angry words or fights really. It's just become being good friends living together. My magic wand would bring back the desire my husband wants me to have for him again." So this is like things have gotten kinda ho-hum. It's nice that she says they're good friends, but then two sentences before that she said, "I feel disconnected, not seen." That's not really what good friends are like for each other. She's really describing a roommate situation. If he's not seeing her, she's not feeling connected to him, you know, even though they are not having angry fights or, angry words, they're also not having that spark of delight in each other, that spark of emotional connection, that rediscovering each other. You know, even after 42 years of marriage, you still have to meet and discover each other and discover who you are, who your husband or your wife is now. What's going on inside them? What are they thinking about? What are they interested in? What lights them up? What scares them? All of that is part of intimacy. And Nathan, I would be so privileged and honored to be your guides to show you like what it takes to to bring that spark back And then another wife who I'll call N, her initial, she emailed me and said, simply, "More connection both emotionally and spiritually during this season of littles, an almost two-year-old and baby on the way in August." Oh, those are busy years, and they are hard years. And you guys, are you seeing what I'm seeing?, We just heard from a wife who's been married 42 years and feels disconnected to her husband, and here's a wife where they have little kiddos, and she wants to feel closer emotionally and spiritually. And I think as we go through our life cycle, we kind of assume, these are the hard years when our kids are little. And then we think, it'll get better later once they get bigger, once they move out. Then we'll have the time and space and energy to build our emotional connection, to grow closer. Uh-uh, that's not what happens. In every season, you need to intentionally do whatever it takes to part the Red Sea, and, create these connections and then maintain them. It doesn't happen on its own. You can't just default and think, back-burner-ing our marriage is gonna work. It's gonna be fine. Mm, no, it's not fine. You really need to invest. You really need to grow. You really need to learn. You really need to make choices to get closer to each other, even when you're busy with littles. Even when you've been married 42 years, and you're kinda in this pattern, you feel stuck in a rut, but I wanna, sit down with N and have tea with her, my Earl Grey tea. And, just share some wisdom with her like, "You know what? This is the greatest gift you can give your little kids is you and your husband being so intentional about your marriage now." That is actually what they need most is having this rock solid, warm, glowing, connected marriage that is the foundation of their home, so that when they grow up and, like, 24 years from now That she will have that formation of growing up in a home where mom and dad were visibly in love, where their love was something that could be felt in the home, where she saw them do practices of conflict resolution and good communication, and enjoy laughing and having fun with each other so that she's set up to have an awesome, wonderful marriage of her own, not a make-do, not a just get through it kind of marriage. Or maybe she's called to religious life, right? And what is she gonna bring into that? Not knowing how to build emotional connection and closeness? 'Cause she's gonna need that in religious life too with Jesus, with her fellow sisters in her community, with those she's called to serve. Or maybe she'll be single, and that's God's plan for her. Same thing. Her parents having a happy, solid, connected marriage is going to be a strength for her in her future life. She'll probably go on and do amazing things, from that foundation of strength Okay. Um, then I have a wife whose initial is G, and she says, "Thanks for asking and for praying. What do we need? Mutual understanding, deeper listening, joy and patience with slow growth, genuine friendship. Thanks, Sarah." Aw, you're welcome, G. I'm totally gonna pray for you. Do you see what is in her heart,? her heart is yearning for more emotional connection. That's what she's describing here with the words that she typed: mutual understanding, deeper listening, joy, patience with slow growth, genuine friendship. It's such a... all those words make me think so much of the way of Jesus as well, right? That's what we want in our Catholic marriages, is to be... to have these Christ-like attitudes towards each other, these attitudes of affection, of understanding, of mutual self-gift, of love and service, I like how she wrote "patience with slow growth." Isn't that what God is like with us? That's why marriage is a witness to love, why it is a sacrament. Because when we can show others through our witness of living out our marriage vows year in and year out, maintaining this affection for each other, we can convince others that love is real and that God's love is real. Because that will allow someone else from the outside seeing us and be like, "Oh, G and her husband, even after 30 years, they're patient with each other with the slow growth. Maybe God's love for me is real. Maybe I can believe that it's real, that God loved me, gave His Son for me, and invites me into relationship with Him, and is patient with my slow growth." There's a lot at stake here in how we live out our marriages. Because how we witness living out our sacrament, it really is affecting other souls. Okay, next wife her initial is L. She says, "Hi, Sarah. Thank you for your email. My intention would be closer connection and communication. Thank you, L." Okay, by now you guys know what that is, right? That's emotional connection. Closer connection and communication. And then the last one I'll read is from A, a wife, and she writes to me saying, "Our marriage needs intimacy, better communication, and openness. Thank you for your prayers." Voila, it's emotional connection yet again. As I mentioned earlier You can do things about this. You can learn how to create more emotional connection. You can read books. You can get marriage counseling. You can go on retreats. You can do intensives. You can get high-end coaching. What Nathan and I are offering this July, it's a pretty low bar to entry. It's not gonna cost you an arm and a leg. It's just under $500. That's less than a couch. Usually that's less than a weekend for your family, in a hotel at the beach or wherever you may go. And it's definitely less than the Gottmans' Art and Science of Love Day, which is an $850 day, which Nathan and I went on and is great, but like I said, doesn't have the joy that we bring. A lot of Christian marriage intensives are gonna run between 3 and $5,000 And they're gonna be multiple days, the beauty of that is you can just knock it out in three or four or five days, however long the, the intensive is. You kinda have to clear everything out of your calendar, go to wherever in the country it is, and then you just lock in, you have, these long days of sessions with the therapist and the counselors and the the coaches that are there. You do exercises with each other. And hopefully by the end of that intensive, then you're, loaded up with these new perspectives and skills, and you can bring it back home and do the things and, have an up-leveled marriage at home. And that can work great if you can clear your schedule, and if you've got $3,000 to $5,000, and childcare, and all that in place, and a spouse who's willing to go do that with you. What we're inviting you to do is just spend one hour one day a week with us on a Zoom call, Monday evenings. And if you can't make it Monday evenings, no biggie. It's recorded. You can watch the recording. You can even do this if your spouse isn't interested or willing. We would love to ask them at least give it a shot for the first one. And then if they're like, "Nah," that's fine. You can continue on your own, and you can learn skills to change how you interact with your husband or your wife to really take things in a new direction. If you change your steps of the dance, the dance changes. So some other options for you. You could do, coaching with josh Hudson he is teaching husbands how to win their wives back, and that is a $4,300 coaching program with him. And then what if you want something for the wife? Megan Touhey, who has a a high-end coaching program for wives to help you turn your marriage around, and that is $13,000. When you look at what else is available out there to really change your marriage it's usually a bigger investment. Let's think about marriage counseling. Often that's gonna be $200 per session. First of all, you have to get to the sessions, you're gonna talk about your problems a lot which is pretty heavy. Hopefully you'll learn some new skills that your counselor will teach you,. But still, over the course of six months, that's gonna be $4,800 if you're doing six months of marriage counseling weekly so, just trying out our super Catholic, fun, full of proven skills marriage program for $497, it's a lot less than that, and it's a whole heck of a lot less than a divorce, which is gonna cost you tens of thousands of dollars. And okay, say you're in one of these Catholic marriages where you're like, "Well, we would never get divorced, but we just don't feel connected," there is still a cost that you are paying, and I've alluded to it earlier. What is this costing your kids, the example you're setting them? What is this costing in terms of your health and the chronic stress that you're holding in your body because of the tension in your marriage or the inability to connect? I mean, even the lady who emailed me, and they need to have these important talks about deciding about jobs and the septic system and important decisions this summer. There's a cost to not being in a place where they can have those conversations. There's an opportunity cost, they could be doing so many cool things if they just knocked out those discussions, got the decisions made, then went on to have fun with each other and relax and enjoy their summer. But instead, this is hanging over them and,, it feels like this big heavy thing, and they just can't get into the place to have those conversations. So I think that's my final question for you. What is it costing you to not up-level your marriage? Are your kids paying that cost? Is it your health paying the cost? Is it an invisible spiritual cost that you won't know until you get to heaven? Because maybe there are men and women, teenage boys and girls, young adults around you who you are supposed to be inspiring them. You're supposed to be that witness to them that marriage is beautiful. And because they're not seeing, a joyful witness of marriage from you and your husband Maybe they're not gonna get married. Maybe they're just gonna cohabit. Maybe they're not convinced that God's love is real because they're jaded and cynical about marriage. That's tragic. And when we look sociologically at what is happening around the world really, marriage is in such a decline right now. The numbers of men and women marrying are plummeting in the Catholic Church just as much as anywhere else. This is a crisis, actually. If you're interested in looking at those numbers, go to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate that Georgetown University hosts. Just go online, look at the numbers of, recorded sacramental marriages in the diocese in the United States. It's taking a nosedive. And we're all called to be part of the solution to turn this around, to shine up our marriages so that we can inspire others that this is beautiful and good, really for nothing less than saving civilization, right? We need marriages for civilization to go forward, and for evangelization to go forward. Those of you from the John Paul II generation, say it with me, the future of evangelization passes by way of marriage, by way of the family. So there's a lot at stake. Make this the summer that your marriage turns around, we're gonna do it in a fun way. We are here holding the door open, just ready to welcome you, and you can find out more at canafeast.com/abundantlive or click the notes to this show. If you have questions, go ahead and reach out to me at Sarah with an H, S-A-R-A-H @canafeast.com. I would be happy to answer your question. And hey, if you want me to pray for something in your marriage, go ahead and email me your intention. I will absolutely pray for you. God bless you, and I hope you can live the joy of love today.